Modest Sexuality 2: The Empire Strikes the Chamber of the Electric Boogatwo Towers of Khan Reloaded

On the tails of my recent rant on modest sexuality and how I’m all by my lonesome and everyone is against me, and inspired by another load pulled out of my Rant Well (which is about as deep as every 20-something poetry student at a liberal arts college thinks they are combined), I realized I have more to say on the subject of modest sexuality, or rather, a better way of describing the concept and its status in the world of TG media: That is, by describing the horse feces I have to wade through to find what I look for.

So picture a rainbow. This is a spectrum of storytelling. On either side, on the extreme ends of the spectrum, the rainbow ends in puddles of shit. But in the center of the rainbow is, like, another rainbow. Red Ochre’s ideal story of modest sexuality used to the best of its potential. I spent my last article talking about this nexus of rainbowy, skittle-flavored goodness, now I’m going to talk about the shit.

And they say there's a pot of gold there.

So the first pile of ass is what I called the antithesis of modest sexuality in my last entry, and what I will describe here as the GNHS philosophy of TG literature (stands for Get Naked Have Sex). This half of the rainbow is the slut stories. They’re the ones where people treat the real world like a sexual roleplaying session. The outfits are skimpy, the boobs are huge, and chastity is a delicate wisp of a string that couldn’t hold its own against a moderately aggressive fart. That’s right, one fart and an orgy breaks out. There’s probably a pornographic film on the internet somewhere that depicts this, actually. For the sake of your soul, don’t go looking for it.

I’ve mentioned before that, this type of media being sexual in nature, it’s the expected order of things that the stories also be based on or involve sex. I guess that makes me the odd man out, but on the other hand, I’m trying to apply logic to this kind of thing. I really need to stop doing that.

The second half of the rainbow, something I didn’t really mention last time, represents what I call ‘indulgence’. As opposed to the GNHS half, which keeps fetishistic material to a minimum in favor of generic sex, the indulgent half prefers to load up on the fetishes and erotic interests until the real world seems to matter less than actual politics does to people arguing about politics.

Apart from being unrealistic, if the kink is too dense it doesn’t really have much of a favorable effect. I remember a (thank the good lord) discontinued flavor of Pepsi called Pepsi Blue, or something that was out around my middle school years. I recall describing it as tasting something like the result of asking a little kid everything he thought was yummy, from pixy sticks to chicken McNuggets, and throwing them in a blender. It tasted like cough syrup. Don’t make your TG story taste like cough syrup.

Innihoo, let’s take a look at potential examples. I’m too lazy to find stories that illustrate each end of the spectrum (though I’m sure I will come across several of each before I find another good story) so I’m just going to make some up. Let’s take a few variations on a story in which a man becomes a high school girl.

In an extreme variant of GNHS, the character, post-TF, will be 18 years old (nobody dares tread on the underside of that threshold), probably blonde, D cup breasts or bigger (maaaayybe C). He’ll be transformed into this by his vengeful girlfriend/wife/interchangeable significant other to punish him for his sexist views of gender roles that nobody has any more except for him because of his one-dimensional character design (character design? Pffffffft, bring on the SECKS!). He probably won’t go back to school after becoming school-aged (unless he was going to school in the first place), because that’s not necessary for sex.

Along with his change, his libido rises to uncontrollable heights and his higher mental capacities dissolve into his comically ridiculous sluttiness. He may or may not lose his knowledge of the entire English language save for the word “fuck”. He spends the rest of his days wearing short skirts with no underwear and crop tops, fucking and sucking every guy he can find. He may or may not be pimped out by his former girlfriend as a prostitute, and be too stupid or sex-obsessed to know or care that she’s keeping all the money he makes. The story will probably end with a line like, “but as Titty McFucksuck happily went to give her 1,538^th blowjob of the day, somewhere inside her, Douchebag McAsshole, the man she had once been, screamed in despair.”

In a less extreme variant, a guy is transformed into a teenage girl, again, by the plot device that he’s dating because his opinions of women are also contrived plot devices. Post-TF, he’s probably also 18 (though he may be as young as 16 sometimes), also busty and probably blonde. His mental capacity is diminished to make room for incoming sluttiness, or, in some cases, his memories are entirely erased and replaced with new ones.

He will probably return to school and become a cheerleader or something (the cheerleading outfit will include a midriff-baring top, despite high school cheer uniforms not actually allowing that in the US, and a very short skirt. There will be no mention of spankies or bloomers underneath the skirts, and if he wears panties at all, it will probably be a thong). By the end of the story, he ends up with a reputation as the school slut, and something about fucking every guy on the football team will be mentioned. If you’re Zagros, she’ll end up pregnant will billiontuplets.

On the indulgent side of the spectrum, in the extreme variant, the transformed-to-be starts out as a teenager already, if not younger. One day, his mom, sister, aunt that he went to live with at the beginning of the story, etc, decides his unruly behavior will just not do. His aunt, probably senile or something, decides that dressing him as a girl will straighten him right out (depending on which definition of the word straight). Without any delay or human-like meditation on such a decision, she puts him in obscenely frilly, pink dresses (that she pulls right the blue fuck out of nowhere) that would only ever be found on the world’s unluckiest baby, and only because the baby isn’t strong enough to rip it off.  Speaking of babies, she’ll probably put him in diapers, too. Why? Because the author says so.

He’ll have to go back to school dressed as such, where all the girls in the school (only the girls, even though there should, by all logic, be guys too, but we don’t take kindly to practicality around here) who can obviously tell he’s a guy, laugh at him and tease him and flip his dress up to laugh at his stupid frilly pink underwear or diaper, either way looking like he’s wearing a sheep around his crotch. They teasingly say humiliating and, apparently unbeknownst to them, rather erotic things to him. Because the author wants it.

At the end, he either gets his normal clothes back and is left with nothing by which to remember the experience but emotional scars that he can cherish forever, or his senile aunt decides that keeping him like this is worth the ridiculous and sadistic lengths she has to go through. The story never goes on to depict her maintaining this lifestyle for him. It also never goes on to show her completely forgetting about the punishment she intended to uphold later that day, or about the protagonist entirely, or where she left her teeth, or what her name is. It also never shows social services taking her into custody and when the parents of the boy with whom she was entrusted and whom she sexually abused disown her. This is real life, people.

For our less extreme example of indulgence, let’s bring the wicked girlfriend-type-person and her inhumanly chauvinistic douchenozzle of a boyfriend back. So she uses her inexplicable magic (she’s a witch, by the way, that’s how she’s been doing this. In the TG world over 90% of genetic women are witches) to turn douchenozzle into a teenage girl. In this type of story, younger girls, usually no older than 10, are more common, but due to my lack of foresight I said I was going to write about becoming a teenage girl, and if you think I’m going to go all the way back to the top and change it, you’ve got the wrong Red Ochre.

Anyway, now that Douchenozzle the Chauvinistic Boyfriend is a girl, he is placed in the custody of his evil girlfriend, who serves as his sadistic ‘mommy’. She teases and torments him for her own satisfaction, dresses him up, sends him to school, makes him be a cheerleader (a real cheerleader who wears underwear) yadda yadda yadda, never once stopping to consider that the emotional and financial strain of supporting a child may outweigh the opportunity to watch Douchenozzle suffer in femininity.

So that’s the lowdown of what’s not modest sexuality, and why it sucks. Let’s take a look at what is and why it’s awesome.

See previous entry on modest sexuality.

The End.

Okay, fine, let’s see where we can go with this…

Since this type of story is few and far between, I can’t really discern any kind of recurring, stereotypical backstory to them (as in, how and why the protagonist becomes female). I would just stick to evil girlfriend and douchenozzle boyfriend, but that kind of thing really doesn’t work in this situation… let’s try something with a genie. So a guy rubs a magic lamp he finds one day while cleaning between his toes. The genie pops out and grants him a wish: “I wish to be young again…” twinkle twinkle abra kadabra klaatu barada nikto tingle tingle kooloo limpah POOF!

He finds himself a girl of about 14 to 15 years old. He’s pretty, but more slim than curvy, and is not proportioned like Marylin Monroe in his early teens. He is in the custody of a family who does not know he is actually male, and treats him like parents treat their kids. They’re not sadistic (unlike the evil significant other) or into cruel and unusual punishment (unlike the evil senile aunt). They love him as their daughter, but they’re still parents and their relationship reflects that (unlike the fucking vomit-inducing angelic perfection in every story under the ‘sweet/sentimental’ tag). Though his memories haven’t changed, he finds he has a tendency toward more juvenile and/or feminine mannerisms that match his current form than he used to be.

He goes on to, reluctantly, experience high school as a female. Nobody teases him or forces him to wear anything beyond what is expected of a girl his age (or, for example, a school uniform), and he tends not to be coerced him to join or do any particularly feminine activity (like cheerleading, unless the girl he is now was a cheerleader before). He goes to school, finding the experience both nostalgic and more difficult than he recalled, never has sex throughout the entire story but does endure some unwilling schoolgirl crushes, and ultimately finds he doesn’t like being a young girl. He finds it demeaning, and mourns his lost adult privileges. He sets out to find a way to turn back, and the story goes from there. Maybe he gets to go back at the end, learning a lesson. Maybe he comes to appreciate his second chance at life, or at least come to terms with it.

Seems simple, right? Right? Then WHY THE FUCK AREN’T THERE MORE STORIES LIKE THIS ON FICTIONMANIA!!!!??? I mean, holy Christ in heaven, with all the convoluted tales involving succubi, war stories, magic universes, not to mention all the shit I complained about earlier on this entry, the ridiculous slut stories and the ones smothered in frills, you would think the ones that actually attempt to capture the experience of femininity and womanhood without burying it under a mountain of sex would at least show up more often than one out of every fifty or so. Excuse me, Red Ochre’s going to go feel sorry for himself in that corner over there.